Never rashly presume things to be holy especially when making vows in marriage
It is a snare to say rashly, “It is holy,” and to reflect only after making vows. (Proverbs 20:25)
There are people at times who rush into getting married. These rashly say they are doing what is holy since they love their soon-to-be spouse and their soon-to-be spouse loves them. And five years post marriage, there are arguments in their marriage, with the eventual divorce.
These never checked each others temperament nor adaptability before marriage. They just only “saw” love but didn’t both to check the truth. I mean the truth about being long term, even till death do them apart upon getting married. These are the one’s who make their wedding vows first and only few years later reflect if they made the right decision. “A few years later”, yes that’s correct.
Instead of checking things out before marriage they only do their assessment of marriage much later. Now not every divorce happens due to rash decisions going into marriage, there could be other things which might have not been possible to detect earlier, but I do hope you get the idea that faulty plans can get into faulty marriages.
Yet, if these couples who are thinking of divorce get Bible based counsel or just pray with sincerity to the Lord God they can save their marriages from ending into disaster.
Now, the Biblical warning mentioned above in Proverbs 20:25 is not limited to marriage vows. It can be your business decisions, various types of contracts, friendship agreements and anything that involves taking oaths, including taking the oath of speaking the truth in the court of law.
Be wise everywhere for the glory of God!
Waiting to get married?
Being a unmarried in Christianity is not a sin. God doesn’t condemn you for being unmarried.
There are Bible verses that indeed promote marriage and those that promote celibacy. God gives a choice on that. You just need to know if you are to get married or remain single.
In case of being single, there’s a good concept of being celibate and using such a life to preach the gospel and help the lowest and the poorest of society. Due to being single one has lesser family responsibilities, lesser economic and travel restrictions, so that the gospel can be preached. Here one remains single because one gets a divine inspiration from God. This is totally between that person and God. A few examples of those who were unmarried and yet were fruitful for God are Enoch the seventh son of Adam, Daniel the prophet and John the Baptist.
However, this status of being single and celibate is sometimes hyped up too much when in fact even married people have done great things for God. For instance Abraham and his wife Sarah, Moses and even most of the 12 Apostles of Jesus were married. So the deciding factor is whether married or not does your heart beat for Jesus?
If you are called to be married then you must realize the importance of being faithful to your spouse and caring for your children. It’s easy to get married to the right person as easy to recieve Jesus. You need to have faith. Yes, faith that trusts God to give you the right person and at the right time.
About getting the right person what you need to do is look for the right qualities. What qualities to look for? I don’t have a detailed list but I will do share some info on this. The right person has faith in the Lord Jesus. Such a person has a sound mind and approach to life. Obviously such a person should not be lazy. The person is not given to vices such as drunkenness, doing drugs and cigarettes, sexual immorality, violence, thieving, robbery, money laundering etc. The person should take up the righteousness that comes from Christ and carry ones cross daily. The person must have a nurturing and encouraging nature towards kids. The person should be clear in their walk and also their talk. Nobody wants a shady and secretive spouse. It’s a marriage and not a spy thing.
There’s a lot of emphasis in the world that a spouse should be wealthy and good looking. The Bible doesn’t however place too much importance on that. Because faithfulness and loyalty to one’s spouse is more important.
There are more divorces due to lack of faithfulness than ugliness and poverty.
While you are waiting to married don’t get discouraged seeing others getting married before you. Stop blaming God for anything as you are not wiser than him. Instead trust in his providence towards you. He takes personal interest in your life. The only reason why things get delayed is due lack of faith and preparation on your end. This is where your attitude and expectations come into play. If you are forever be stuck on late night partying and during the day are groggy looking, then expect to get married then you need to change your mindset. Most married couples find it very hard to live in peace if either one of the spouse parties all night leaving the other person at home. If this is not expected in a married persons life then you better start preparing yourself in your behavior.
Your behavior plays a huge part in determining that once you meet a potential spouse you both end up getting married. Be polite and kind in words and deeds. Bad hygiene is big no for both males and females. Wearing clean and well stitched clothes and a mild perfume is ideal whenever you both meet. Avoid flashy and outlandish costumes unless the other is totally fine with it. Don’t presume permission but instead ask in advance. It won’t hurt. Talk to each other, don’t maintain silence for too long. Speak but also stop so that the other can speak to you.
Only when you both are comfortable talk about getting married. Now just a point, is that please do not drag the wait-till-we-decide time for too long. It only creates negative emotions and waste of time.
Get to know the parents and relatives of your fiance well in advance before meeting them. Though marriage laws need only that the couple be consenting adults, some marriages are prevented due either persons families interfering. Take your own parents into confidence before confirming your interest in your fiance before his/her parents.
Do read the Bible especially the book of Proverbs and the letters of the Apostles which have a lot of insight on marriage. Biblical wisdom supercedes all wordly knowledge even in marriage. Above all place your trust in the Lord Jesus in everything you do.